Book Review: Kiss the Wave: Embracing God in Your Trials by Dave Furman

There are many works on the subject of suffering. Many of them good, some very good, Kiss the Wave: Embracing Your Trials by Dave Furman is exceptionally good. Dave Furman is a pastor in Dubai and is no stranger to suffering. He has endured a nerve disorder that gives him pain everyday. He speaks not only Biblically on this issue but also from his own experience. Throughout the book he offers personal stories from his life. Suffering comes in many forms and Furman delves into them all.

“I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages.”

As many know, this is a Charles Spurgeon quote.  Spurgeon suffered much in his own life from depression and several physical ailments as well. He was fully aware of the pains of this life and thus we have this famous quote from which the title of this book was taken.

In thirteen easily readable chapters Furman addresses the many aspects of suffering. Whether it be a physical difficulty, emotional distress or from many other issues, he takes us through and offers endless encouragement and many Biblical helps to sustain the reader.

Furman points out that we too often look for our significance from the world, depend on our circumstances for happiness, beg for physical and emotional healing all the while we may be missing God's point.

Rather with great pastoral care and love the author directs us to "...embrace the reality that God is using your pain to make you more like Christ." That's difficult to fathom but Furman explains this truth. "...The way to fight through our trials and grow in holiness is what we've talked about all through this book. Growing in holiness doesn't start by trying harder, but by believing better. We need to hope in the future grace we have in Christ..." God uses weakness to show our need for dependence upon him." Because ultimately, "This is why we kiss the wave. Our trials  are an endless buffet table with opportunities for us to grow and look more like Christ. As you struggle through your pain, be comforted that God is not wasting this trial but is doing a good work in you..." (All quotes from Kiss the Wave: Embracing Your Trials by Dave Furman.)

Furman never minimizes the pain the reader may be going through. He knows of it all too well. But he equally knows how easy it is to let frustration rule, to feel self pity, and to give over to sin in our darkest moments.

Furman's final chapter and conclusion are most encouraging. I'll leave that for the reader to explore. The appendix includes helpful recommended resources, a general index and a scripture index.

Give this book a read. You'll find it most helpful and encouraging.

Crossway has provided a complimentary copy of this book through Beyond the Page.

Check out Dave Furman's book Being There: How to Love Those Who Are Hurting.

Book Review: Being There: How To Love Those Who Are Hurting by Dave Furman

As one who is a caretaker of a spouse with an debilitating illness, I was keenly interested in this new book, Being There: How To Love Those Who Are Hurting, by Dave Furman. It did not disappoint. Author Dave Furman shares his life with his difficult disease which is not only difficult for himself but also his wife, family and friends. Having an illness like Furman's when one doesn't look ill makes it all the worse for all those involved. Furman shares his joys and disappointments on a personal level and imparts wisdom for the caretaker, friend, spouse, pastor and everyone acquainted with someone suffering from any of life's trials.

This work is packed with advice for the caretaker and for the sufferer. From the outset however Furman makes it clear that, "The goal of this entire book is to point you to Jesus, who is your only hope, and to walk you through some ways to love those who hurt with the strength God provides." Indeed, the book ends with the same reminder. We are to point those who suffer to Christ. Words of encouragement or comfort often fail, but Christ never does. This is not all we can do but it is at the heart of what we do and say.

Furman's style is warm, funny and direct to the point. He quotes sufferers that have gone before us and points the reader to Scripture often. He shares events from his life that are sometimes humorous but often heartbreaking as his disability affects all those around him. But it makes the book real, not just a book of self help hints to get the reader through difficult times, but seasoned, hard advice for those dark, lonely times of hurting the caretaker endures.

He tasks the reader to refer to the gospel to find hope. "In order to adequately care for others, we must first need this news (and the Spirit of God) to stir in us a new and greater affection." We must also learn to listen rather than talk. "Listening is a great way to start loving and comforting someone who is suffering. Good friends and counselors understand that oftentimes the best thing they can do is be quiet and listen."

This leads me to one of the most important and helpful chapters of the book, Whatever You Do, Don't Do These Things. Though well intended, some words and actions of encouragement are more harmful than helpful. If you cannot imagine what these are then I strongly urge you to give close attention to this chapter.

As Furman was writing the conclusion to this book he suffered another severe attack of pain which left him discouraged. Though I don't wish pain on anyone, I am grateful he related this episode in the book. Even after penning this work he fell into a short period of discouragement. His honesty displayed his humanness in that he still does not have all the answers. Neither do we. Our hope is in Christ for now and evermore.

Crossway has provided a complimentary copy of this book through Beyond the Page.

The Problem of Suffering: A Review of Be Still, My Soul: Embracing God's Purpose and Provision in Suffering

Suffering will always be with us. How we should handle suffering, even in the best of times for the most devoted follower of Christ, may not always be clear to us. In Be Still, My Soul: Embracing God's Purpose and Provision in Suffering we have a memorable collection of essays from theologians, past and present, sharing their experience and pastoral advice.

The authors in this valuable compilation range from John Newton to Corrie Ten Boom, from Augustine to D.A. Carson, each, in his or her own way, sharing an encouraging and comforting message. Editor Nancy Guthrie has done a brilliant job selecting each essay for the book. Reflecting on pain and suffering is something we spend far too little time on today. Suffering will affect your life someday and this work will enlighten as it informs its reader to God’s merciful work in trials.

A Review of "Does Grace Grow Best in Winter"

Suffering is coming. If you’ve never suffered, be assured that one day you will. Now, before the time of trials and suffering, is the best time to develop a personal theology of suffering. Does Grace Grow Best in Winter? by Ligon Duncan is a book that can help you do that. And if you’re suffering now, this book is especially for you.The first sentence of chapter one sets the tone for the book, “This book considers suffering in light of the sovereignty of our wise and loving God.” That is the thrust of the work.

Each chapter, titled as a question, answers the questions we all ask when we are suffering such as chapter one, “Why Me?” Duncan biblically takes hold of these questions and answers them tenderly and lovingly while teaching us that we must turn the focus away from ourselves and to the Lord Jesus Christ.

If you’re seeking answers to suffering, in whatever form it has taken, I warmly recommend this book to you. It will be beneficial to you as it strengthens your faith.

Carson on Suffering

Over the last few years I've read and studied a fair amount on the subject of suffering. One of the best books out there is Carson's, How Long, O Lord? It is steeped with thoughtful, straight forward, Biblical advice and encouragement. I highly recommend it. One issue I see that comes to the forefront repeatedly is that of "what I deserve." Perhaps it's our age of medical advancement and/or prosperity but many of us seem to think we shouldn't suffer. We shouldn't be sick and if we get sick we need healing immediately. If we suffer some kind of emotional or financial loss loss we need to be able to recover without feeling the pain. "I deserve to be happy and pain free." Carson explains that that just isn't the case,

In fact we believe that sin properly deserves the wrath of God, then when we experience the sufferings of this world, all of them the consequences of human rebellion, we will be less quick to blame God and a lot quicker to recognize that we have no fundamental right to expect a life of unbroken ease and comfort. From the biblical perspective, it is because of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed (pg. 44).

Suffering in the Western Church

In a response to his previous post on the Big Issues Facing the Western Church, Tim Keller responds with to one area where we as a church are severly deficient:

We must develop a far better theology of suffering. Members of churches in the west are caught absolutely flat-footed by suffering and difficulty. This is a major problem, especially if we are facing greater 'liminality'--social marginalization--and maybe more economic and social instability. There are a great number of books on 'why does God allow evil?' but they mainly are aimed at getting God off the hook with impatient western people who believe God's job is to give them a safe life. The church in the west must mount a great new project--of producing a people who are prepared to endure in the face of suffering and persecution.

Here, too, is one of the ways we in the west can connect to the new, growing world Christianity. We tend to think about 'what we can do for them.' But here's how we let them do something for us. Many or most of the church in the rest of the world is used to suffering and persecution. They have a kind of faith that does not wilt, but rather grows stronger under threat. We need to become students of theirs in this area.

This gives us much food for thought. We need to dig in and partake of the Bread of Life when suffering comes are way. We need to have courage and face are worst foes. Life is usually not about enjoyment, more often it is about suffering and we need to provide the means for a sinful world to see its Saviour.

Surprised by Suffering

I'm looking forward to receiving my copy of Surprised by Suffering. Sproul never ceases to teach and encourage and I believe this will be no different. From the Ligonier webpage:

Dr. Sproul offers solid biblical counsel and comfort for those undergoing suffering and for those who minister to the suffering, counsel that helps believers stand in times of trial with faith in a God who is both loving and good.

You can order your copy here.

Suffering Well

Lord, you gave this to me for a reason. Let me run with it and do the best I can with it.- Matt Chandler.

I strongly encourage you to read this post about Matt Chandler. He is an encouragement to us all as he suffers well.

Don't Be Confused

Suffering is suffering no matter what form it takes. We often don't think that we are suffering because we are not be persecuted but that is a false assumption. There is no difference between suffering in persecution or suffering in sickness. John Piper elaborates here:

The most significant difference between sickness and persecution is that persecution is an intentional hostility from someone because we are known to be Christians, but sickness is not. Therefore, in some situations, to choose to be public Christians is to choose a way of life that accepts suffering, if God wills (1 Peter 4:19). But suffering may result from living as a Christian even when there is no intentional hostility from unbelievers. ...[A]ll suffering that comes in the path of obedience is suffering with Christ and for Christ—whether it is cancer or conflict. And it is “chosen”—that is, we willingly take the path of obedience where the suffering befalls us, and we do not murmur against God. ...All experiences of suffering in the path of Christian obedience, whether from persecution or sickness or accident, have this in common: They all threaten our faith in the goodness of God and tempt us to leave the path of obedience. Therefore, every triumph of faith and all perseverance in obedience are testimonies to the goodness of God and the preciousness of Christ—whether the enemy is sickness, Satan, sin, or sabotage. Therefore, all suffering, of every kind, that we endure in the path of our Christian calling is a suffering “with Christ” and “for Christ.” With Him in the sense that the suffering comes to us as we are walking with Him by faith and in the sense that it is endured in the strength He supplies through His sympathizing high-priestly ministry (Hebrews 4:15). (From Desiring God by John Piper, pages 256-257.)

Download your free copy of Desiring God here.

An Escape From...

An escape from suffering would be an escape from the power to sympathise, and that were to be deprecated beyond all things. -C.H. Spurgeon

How very true. How can we know and help and pray for others without knowing the deep hurt that they experience? Let us embrace our suffering knowing that our kind and gracious Lord has more for us than the pains of this life. Embrace it and be enabled to help those in turmoil around you. For as believers we have a hope in this regard:

And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea. And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Revelation 21:1-4

You Must Suffer

"We [must] break free of the Disneyland of America and begin to live lifestyles of missionary sacrifice that looks to the world like our treasure is in heaven and not on the earth."

Spritual Recovery

Sometimes our guilt hurts so much that we madly want to do something extraordinary to make the pain stop. But what does God require of us for our spiritual recovery? Simple: renewed obedience in his means of killing the flesh. His means are those outlined throughout his Word and they're familiar: constantly reading his Word, hearing it preached, and reflecting on it; fervent prayer; careful watching against temptation; and fixing the mind always on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. - Kris Lundgaard, Through the Looking Glass.

Suffering to Worship

Again, Mark Driscoll serves up a thoughtful sermon on suffering. Suffering to Worship offers many insights on 1 Peter 4:12-19 that we should not miss. The video and notes are found here. Take advantage and learn now what you can about suffering. Develop a "theology of suffering," as Don Carson so aptly refers to it, before suffering in what ever form strikes. Learn what the Lord could and is doing for you. Suffering is never wasted. Learn from it.

Suffering to Serve

Link to the Mars Hill blog here for Pastor Mark Driscoll's sermon on Suffering to Serve from 1 Peter 4:1-11. You'll also find the notes for the sermon and other good info as well. Be blessed.

S.D.G.