Contemplating the death of one's wife is such a difficult thing to do. Perhaps more so if it is somewhat imminent. Watching the life slowly or quickly ebb away can be so overwhelming. A husband may ask, "What can I do?", "What should I do?" "What about all the things she did to keep our marriage humming along?" "How will I handle things when she's gone, how will I deal with the loneliness?" Author Dennis Disselkoen has faced these questions and dealt with them out of his own experience. Out of this experience his book, Losing A Spouse: A Widower's Way, was born.
The book is well written, an easy read, and at 186 pages including appendices and index, it is not a lengthy or laborious read.
Ground level of this book is the experiences over a number of years of the author tending to and caring for his wife. For the reader it addresses a needed perspective on what a husband is or will experience. Full of personal experiences, testimony of interviewees, and practical suggestions I would regard Disselkoen's work as even a necessary read.
As can be seen from some of the chapter titles below, Losing A Spouse: A Widower's Way is comprehensive.
Chapter 1 How this Started
Chapter 3 Wife's Decline
Chapter 4 Time Together
Chapter 5 Hospice
Chapter 6 Final Arrangements
Chapter 8 Visitation and Funeral
Chapter 9 What is Next?
Chapter 11 What Is New
Chapter 12 How Do You Think About Grief
Chapter 13 The Emotional Side
Chapter 14 The Physical Side
Chapter 16 What You Can Do
Chapter 17 What You Should Know
This volume covers it all: grief, anxiety, loneliness, isolation, friends and family responses, funeral arrangements, and much more providing practical advice and sound theological insights.
As a husband who is in the midst of this situation, I found the insights into grief, loneliness, isolation, and dealing with a new normal most helpful and comforting.
I wholeheartedly recommend this book and give it a solid five stars.
The author has graciously provided a copy of this book. Thoughts and opinions are my own. There are paid links on this page.
Dr. Disselkoen has provided a solid bit of writing that should become a source of guidance and reassurance to men who have suffered the loss of their wives, as well as those for whom this bitter loss is imminent. Disselkoen's collected experience - his own and that of the men he interviewed - is reinforced by the expertise of cited sources, giving this book a more durable wisdom than could have been achieved by the more common approach of relying on a single perspective.
Dr. Kriss Wiant, Ph. D., Psychologist
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